Good news, everyone! Two physicists out of Baylor University have figured out a way to make a ship fly faster than the speed of light without breaking any known laws of physics. You can read all about their proposed warp drive here. Armchair theoretical physicist that I am, it all seems to make sense.
So, with the price of gas what it is, I say “Screw that noise, I’m building a warp core.”
Now all I need is a Scotsman and some anti-matter.