Tag Archives: dream cast

Let’s Cast…THE YOUNG AVENGERS

One of the things I like about DC Comics is the concept of the legacy hero, wherein a hero’s identity is passed on to a member of the younger generation. For the most part, this really doesn’t happen in the Marvel Universe. That’s why I really dig the Young Avengers. At a time when the Avengers were more or less disbanded, a group of teens adapted heroic identities based on heroes like Captain America and Iron Man and took it upon themselves to fill the void.

If Hollywood were to make a movie out of Young Avengers, I think the first arc–“Sidekicks”–would make a pretty good story to tell. Not only does it do a great job of establishing the characters, but it even has a few cameos from some familiar faces.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Young Avengers…

Tristan Wilds as Patriot/Eli Bradley

Eli is the grandson of Isaiah Bradley, one of the first Super-Soldiers created by the U.S. military. Claiming to have received his grandfather’s abilities through a blood transfusion, Eli takes the name Patriot and continues the family tradition. I’d cast The Wire’s Wilds as Eli.

Alexandra Daddario as Hawkeye/Kate Bishop

Kate is the daughter of a wealthy publisher. However, she never felt comfortable living a life of luxury, so she dedicated a lot of her time to charity. A skilled martial artist and deadly accurate with a bow, Kate decided to become the new Hawkeye and do even more to help those in need. Daddario faced monsters and gods in Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief…let’s see how she’ll do against supervillains.

Spencer Locke as Stature/Cassandra “Cassie” Lang

The daughter of Scott Lang, aka Ant-Man, Cassie grew up idolizing the life of the costumed hero. As Stature, Cassie joins a long line of size-altering heroes like her father, Hank Pym, and Janet Van Dyne. Spencer Locke played K-Mart in Resident Evil: Extinction…if you can dodge a zombie, you can dodge a villain.

Anton Yelchin as Iron Lad/Nathaniel Richards…

…and Vision/Jonas

Iron Lad is responsible for assembling the Young Avengers. Eventually, his armor becomes a newer, younger Vision (don’t ask, it’s complicated). I’d cast Yelchin because…I dunno, it just feels right.

Kevin G. Schmidt as Hulkling/Theodore “Teddy” Altman

As a Kree/Skrull hybrid, Hulkling has super strength, endurance, and shapeshifting abilities. However, Teddy may be the most “human” of any of the Young Avengers.

Nicholas Braun as Wiccan/William “Billy” Kaplan

Believed to be one of Wanda Maximoff’s twin sons, Billy has abilities that are similar to the Scarlet Witch’s chaos magic. Braun was (apparently) in Sky High and that’s good enough for me.

Max Thieriot as Speed/Thomas “Tommy” Shepherd

Billy’s twin brother, Speed somehow managed to inherit his Uncle Pietro’s speed-based powers and brash attitude. To be honest, I really only picked Thieriot because he played Ned in Nancy Drew

Sasha Alexander as Jessica Jones


and Dina Meyer as Kat Farrell


Jones and Farrell play a key role in the first arc of Young Avengers, as they investigate this new group of “Teen Avengers” for The Pulse.

Ryan McPartlin as Captain America/Steve Rogers


and Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man/Tony Stark

Let’s throw in a cameo by Captain America and Iron Man. Yes, I know that Chris Evans has been cast as Captain America and, while we have yet to see how he’ll do in the role, I really wanted McPartlin to get the gig. So, since it’s my movie, Chuck’s McPartlin will play Cap.

Clancy Brown as Kang the Conqueror

The time-traveling Kang has been plaguing the Avengers for years, so it’s only fitting that he’d also be a thorn in the side of the Young Avengers. Clancy Brown gives good villain. ‘Nuff said.

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Let’s Cast…EXCALIBUR

With this X-Men: First Class prequel slowly rolling forward–not to mention another (crappy, I’m going to assume) Wolverine movie–it looks like Hollywood is doing it damnedest to squeeze every last penny out of Marvel’s Merry Mutants. What I can’t figure out is why they don’t try to mine some of the dozen or so other mutant-related comics in Marvel’s catalog–like the New Mutants. Or Excalibur.

Excalibur was a great series about a team of mutants that drew its roster from both the Marvel UK Captain Britain series and the X-Men. For a very long time, Excalibur was my very favorite series…then it was canceled and replaced with numerous sub-par relaunches. For an Excalibur movie, I’d (more or less) use the roster from the later issues.

Kevin McKidd as Captain Britain/Brian Braddock

Between Rome and Journeyman, something tells me that McKidd could handle any kind of weird that a movie like this would throw at him.

Georgia Moffett as Meggan

Moffett’s got the pixie-ish look that I’d want to see in the actress cast as Braddock’s girlfriend and teammate, Meggan–the mutant elf shapeshifting elemental. (Also, the fact that just mentioning Moffett’s name sends the David Tennant fangirls into a suicidal rage fills me with glee.)

Natalia Tena as Psylocke/Elizabeth “Betsy” Braddock

Although usually a member of the X-Men, I’d want to have Brian’s sister on this team…mostly because I think Natalia Tena is made of awesome.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner

I like JGL. If he can pull off a passable German accent, I think he’s got the right body type and facial features to play Nightcrawler. Also, he kind of owes me for G.I. Joe.

Mekenna Melvin as Shadowcat/Kitty Pryde

Kitty matured a lot during her time with Excalibur. As Casey’s daughter on Chuck, Melvin gave the impression that–despite her age and inexperience–she could, very easily, become a part of Team Bartowski.

Alexander Nevsky as Colossus/Piotr Rasputin

Nevsky is a huge Russian dude, I think that’s enough. (He was also in a movie called Moscow Heat…which just really tickles me.)

Lindy Booth as Marvel Girl/Rachel (Summers) Grey

Rachel was there from Day One. Booth’s got sass. Rachel’s got sass. I like sass.

Dylan Moran as Pete Wisdom

Go watch Black Books…I’ll wait…

Karen Gillan as Wolfsbane/Rahne Sinclair

Scottish? Check. Redhead? Check.

Jesse Eisenberg as Douglock

Okay…Douglock is (essentially) some strange amalgam of Warlock and Doug Ramsey (aka Cypher). Now, while I had originally cast Chris Colfer as Cypher in my New Mutants movie, I decided to go with someone different to be the fake Doug.

Gina Bellman as Dr. Moira MacTaggert

Moira had a long history with the X-Men–as friend, associate, and lover of Charles Xavier–before Excalibur started using her mutant research center on Muir Island as a base of operations. Why Bellman? Why not?

Assemble This, Part Two: The Major Motion Picture

A few weeks back, I wrote a post about who I’d want on the Avengers. Since then, Marvel has announced the actual rosters for two of the fifteen* new Avengers titles that are coming our way later this year. Personally, I think I’d still rather see my lineup. But, since that doesn’t seem likely to happen, the least I can do is make a movie in my brain with these characters. (We’re going to have to ignore a very old post wherein I already cast an Avengers movie. Hey, times change, deal with it.)

Ryan McPartlin as Captain America/Steve Rogers

Yeah…I’m still pulling for Chuck‘s Captain Awesome to play Captain America.

Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man/Tony Stark

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Sean Bean as Thor

Yeah…I know they’re making a Thor movie and they’ve already cast some guy–an actor? a football player? an underwear model? I dunno… The point is, Bean should play the Norse god of thunder.

Jensen Ackles as Hawkeye/Clint Barton

Admit it: Dean Winchester is pretty much just Hawkeye with a shotgun.

Anna Torv as Mockingbird/Bobbi Morse

TORV!

Tricia Helfer as Ms. Marvel/Carol Danvers

Personally, I never really dug Helfer on BSG. But, as the nefarious Carla on Burn Notice? Now we’re talking. I’d like to see what she can do with Ms. Marvel.

Bridget Regan as Spider-Woman/Jessica Drew

Yeah…I dunno…just because.

Alexandra Daddario as Stature/Cassie Lang

I know, I know…she’s a brunette and Cassie is a blonde. Well, calm down, there’s this new shit called hair dye that can change the color of a person’s hair. Why her? Well, someone obviously thought she was plucky enough to play Annabeth in Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, so I imagine she’s plucky enough to play Stature.

Anton Yelchin as Vision/Jonas

I like this kid. I thought he was great as Chekov in Star Trek and part of me feels he could really nail this younger version of Vision.

Katharine Isabelle as Firestar/Angelica Jones

I can’t figure out if Katharine Isabelle is irrationally despised or just criminally underrated. I’m not saying she hasn’t been in some questionable productions…but, she’s also been in some pretty good shit, too.

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*: Or four. Are there four? I think there are four.

Let’s Cast…RUNAWAYS

Fact: Whenever I hear someone talking about the upcoming Joan Jett biopic, I get super-excited. Then I realize it isn’t about the real Runaways. But, rumor has it that a movie based on Marvel’s popular series may, in fact, be on the way. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I’d be to see a feature film based on Runaways: the story of six kids who learn that their parents are honest-to-god supervillains and how they band together to defeat them.

I think it’s probably a no-brainer that the movie should be based on the first arc of the series. But, who should play each of the principal characters?

Percy Daggs III as Alex Wilder

Daggs was great as Wallace on Veronica Mars. He’s proven he can play funny, sweet, and loyal…I can’t imagine he’d have a problem tapping into darker characteristics to play the Runaways de facto leader.

Amanda Seyfried as Karolina Dean

Seyfried may be too old to play a teenager, but look at her. She’s the spitting image of the Runaway’s resident alien.

David Gallagher as Chase Stein

The son of mad scientists, Chase is the team’s resident hot-headed jock. He wears Fistigons–powerful, flame-producing gauntlets–stolen from his parents and is the only one who can control the Runaway’s ship, Leapfrog. I kind of remember Gallagher from 7th Heaven, and he sufficiently impressed me with his recent role on Smallville, so let’s give the kid a shot.

Devon Aoki as Nico Minoru

Not gonna lie: one of the reasons I’d cast Aoki as the daughter of dark wizards is that Nico is a very emotional character and I’d like to see Aoki have more than three lines of dialogue in one of her movies.

Abigail Breslin as Molly Hayes

Go on…tell me I’m wrong. Do it. I dare you.

Tina Majorino as Gertrude Yorkes

Gertrude’s my favorite Runaway–well, tied with Molly at the very least–and she’s always kind of reminded me of Majorino’s character from Veronica Mars. Maybe I’d ask Stan Lee to play Gertrude’s genetically engineered dinosaur Old Lace. Or maybe not.

The Pride

Idris Elba and Michael Michele as Geoffrey and Catherine Wilder

Ewan McGregor and Rachel Weisz as Dale and Stacey Yorkes


Joel Gretsch and Jeri Ryan as Frank and Leslie Dean

Alan Tudyk and Stephanie Romanov as Victor and Janet Stein

Jeffrey Donovan and Carla Gugino as Gene and Alice Hayes

Daniel Dae Kim and Ming-Na as Robert and Tina Minoru

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As the series progressed, the Runaways encounter other kids in similar situations. Since this movie would kick ass, there would totally be a sequel. Runaways 2: Still Runnin’ would introduce

Rick Gonzales as Victor Mancha

Gonzales seemed capable of dealing with devils, demons, and reapers on Reaper, so I imagine he’d be able to handle playing technopathic cyborg Victor Mancha.

Dana Davis and Lee Thompson Young as Xavin

Those wacky Skrulls, always with the shapeshifting. Dana Davis (Bones, Heroes) and Lee Thompson Young (Friday Night Lights, Smallville) would have to share the role of the Skrull prince who also happens to be Karolina’s betrothed.

Let’s Cast…CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

There’s been a shit-storm of news about Marvel’s next big project this weekend. Rumors are flying around about who may or may not be auditioning, who the Big Bad will be, and whether or not Captain America’s origins will somehow be connected to the USO. I have neither the desire nor the inclination to recap all of them here.

What I do have the desire to do is climb atop my tiny virtual soapbox and declare, as loud as my little fingers can type, who should–nay, must–be cast in Captain America: The First Avenger. (Thank god the Powers That Be saw the wisdom in setting the movie in both the present and during WWII…at least I don’t have to worry about that.)

Let’s spur this iron space-pony on, shall we?

Ryan McPartlin as Steve Rogers/Captain America

There are rumors that Chuck‘s Captain Awesome may be auditioning to play Captain America. He certainly looks the part–as Rich pointed out–and, after hearing he’d done a guest spot on Mad Men, any fears I had that he couldn’t do period work were quickly soothed.

John Simm as Johann Schmidt/The Red Skull

Red Skull is the Nazi’s answer to Cap: the physical embodiment of the Third Reich. I think Simm did such a kick-ass job as Doctor Who uber-baddie The Master that, if he can do a convincing German accent, I’d like to see what he could do with Hitler’s favorite little goose-stepper.

Kyle Gallner as James “Bucky” Barnes

Steve’s sidekick during WWII, poor Bucky would seemingly die in the same accident that would freeze Cap in a block of ice for twenty years. The once optimistic Bucky would later return as the Soviet Union’s ruthless super-assassin the Winter Soldier. Gallner still kinda looks like a kid, but in a few years would probably look old enough to play a tortured version of Bucky in Captain America 3: In From the Cold.

That pretty much takes care of the three main characters from the World War II part of the film. When we fast-forward to the present, it’s a safe bet to say that Sam Jackson will be back to play Nick Fury and, more than likely, we’ll see more of the super-awesome Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark. But, what about the rest of Cap’s modern-day supporting cast?

Howabout…

Yvonne Strahovski as Sharon Carter/Agent 13

McPartlin’s Chuck co-star was the first name that popped into my head to play SHIELD Agent Sharon Carter, but I thought it could be a little confusing. But, after careful consideration, I decided what the fuck…this is my movie and I can cast it however I want. If Sherlock Holmes can outrun an explosion, than Sarah Walker can be Sharon Carter.

J. August Richards as Sam Wilson/Falcon

I’ll be completely honest, I have no idea if Richards would make a good Sam, I just really like the guy and want to see him get as much work as possible. Besides, if he can handle roles on both Angel and The 4400, I think he can handle Captain America.

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Now, I’ve already said that Bucky’s return as the Winter Soldier should come in the third movie, so that leaves us with one question: What happens in Captain America 2? Well, I’d like to see the story of the first Captain America–Isaiah Bradley–including both his grandson Eli “Patriot” Bradley, plus Rikki “Nomad” Barnes (we can explain Rikki away as a relative of Bucky, rather than a refugee from a parallel universe).

I’d cast Avery Brooks to play Isaiah Bradley in the present.

I’d be okay with CGI trickery to take care of any flashbacks we’d need (I think the plot should stay in the present as much as possible, focusing on Eli and how he’s struggling with the legacy that was stolen from his family).

I’d cast The Wire‘s Tristan Wilds as Isaiah’s grandson Eli Bradley, aka Patriot.

And Allison Scagliotti as Rikki Barnes/Nomad.

Back to Formula?!: If a Spidey Reboot Must Happen, Let’s Do It Right, Kids.

Face it, boys and girls: a complete and total revamp of the Spider-Man movie franchise is going to happen. Is it a good idea? No, probably not. But, as long as a big time movie studio owns the rights to the characters and you do not, there’s really nothing we can do about it. Other than hope for the best.

As part of my tireless quest to make Hollywood better, I offer my thoughts and ideas about who should be cast in the “reboot.” Grab a helmet, here we go…

Tommy Knight as Peter Parker/Spider-Man

As a rule, I prefer to avoid casting non-North American actors as American superheroes. Personally, since I don’t think anyone would even think of casting Zac Efron as Harry Potter or Brad Pitt as James Bond, I see nothing wrong with this stance. However, Knight–best “known” for playing Luke in the Doctor Who spin-off The Sarah Jane Adventures–looks like he’d do a pretty damn good job as Puny Parker.

Taylor Swift as Gwen Stacy

and Molly C. Quinn as Mary Jane Watson

Here’s where I’m probably gonna lose a bunch of you guys. Hang on and let me explain this a little. Neither Gwen nor MJ were ever part of Peter Parker’s high school life. They’ve both been folded in through various other sources–cartoons, movies, Ultimate things. Personally, I liked what The Spectacular Spider-Man did with both of the characters, making Gwen Peter’s high school best friend/co-geek/crush and making MJ a little less of the girl next door and closer to her “Face it, Tiger” roots. (Yes, I know this is at least the second time I’ve chosen Quinn for one of these movies…dammit, I will not rest until she’s in a comic book movie.)

Chace Crawford as Harry Osborn

I’ll be honest, I have no idea when Harry Osborn went from being Brillo-headed Melvin to broody heartthrob, but that’s how most people see him these days. From what I hear of this Crawford kid, he’s kind of got the rich snot thing down, so let’s go with it.

Jordan Hinson as Liz Allen

Finally, a girl that Peter Parker actually went to high school with. From a character standpoint, I wouldn’t know Liz Allen if I tripped over her. But, I do like Eureka’s Hinson and would like to see her in more stuff (or have her do more things that I’m interested in watching, at the very least).

Cory Monteith as Eugene “Flash” Thompson

The Flash in the first Spider-Man movie was more juicehead douchebag date-rapist than BMOC jerk. I’d probably never be friends with Flash, but in the end he isn’t really a bad guy. Just a jerk. On Glee, Monteith plays a guy who could very easily go down the “jerky popular guy” road (thank god for the healing power of glee club, kids).

Kathryn Joosten as May Parker

Joosten is a favorite actress among the folks who frequent my corner of the Internet. How could you not love the actress who played Mrs. Landingham on The West Wing and Old Lady God on Joan of Arcadia? A clue: you can’t.

Alexis Bledel as Betty Brant


I offer no justification for this choice other than: she’s Alexis Bledel. Alexis. Bledel. Moving on…

J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson

Like my pal Rich said, you do not mess with perfection.

Kevin Spacey as Norman Osborn/The (eventual) Green Goblin

I love Willem Dafoe. The dude is seven kinds of awesome. But, from day one, the only name I ever associated with a feature film version of Ol’ Brillo-head, Sr. was Kevin Spacey. I can’t really explain it…other than the hair. Also, let’s not rush Osborn’s decline into foamy-mouthed madness. The Green Goblin is, arguably, Spider-Man’s greatest nemesis (suck it, Venom), so there’s no reason to waste him in just a single movie.

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As for possible villains in the new movie, I give you:

Giovanni Ribisi as Max Dillon/Electro

I was trying to think of an actor who could play both pathetic schlubby loser and slightly insane criminal and Ribisi’s name just sorta popped in there. Then, I realized he basically played Electro in an episode of The X-Files. Geek win!

Brendan Gleeson as Dr. Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus

Personally, I’ve always seen Doc Ock as a somewhat…*ahem*…physically substantial individual.

Bruce Campbell as Quentin Beck/Mysterio

You’ll never convince me that Raimi wasn’t building up to casting Campbell as Mysterio somewhere along the line. Thank God I’m here. The idea of Campbell playing former stunt man/special effects expert-turned-criminal is just too good to pass up. But, if we can’t get Bruce for some reason, I’d be happy with Adam Savage.


Let’s RE-Cast…THE FANTASTIC FOUR

A few months back, Disney bought Marvel Entertainment. Almost as soon as this was announced, Fox announced plans to reboot its Fantastic Four franchise, which (in case you don’t know) is based on a Marvel comic about the greatest superhero team ever assembled. Ever. The first two movies weren’t exactly critical or financial successes–partially, I think, because the public is retarded and people think that every comic book is dark and broody, like Batman, or tackles serious social issues, like X-Men. Personally, I thought these two movies–despite less-than-perfect casting and occasionally shaky special effects–captured the light, sitcom-like feeling that Stan Lee and Jack Kirby intended when they created the characters over forty years ago. So, while Fox tries to crank out one more movie before they lose the film rights to Disney, I thought I’d give them a hand and cast the thing for them.

The Plot: First of all, DO NOT RETELL THEIR FUCKING ORIGIN!!! Comic book movies that simply tell the origin of the heroes are lame. You waste two-thirds of the movie watching characters wander around and talking about shit before you actually get to see a costume or a fight. Lazy writers produce scripts that simply rehash the origin. (The only exception is Iron Man…because, let’s be honest, we all want to watch a dude build robot suits.) The Fantastic Four have no secret identities, so you use the opening credits to show them on a talk show or something, where they are forced to tell the story of Reed Richards’ failed experiment in space travel and how they were bombarded by cosmic rays and gained superpowers. Done. Now, let’s punch some fuckers.

The Cast: Like I said, some of the casting of the actual FF movies sucked. Some did not. Ioaaiuen Gryffiphaueuoud (did I forget a vowel or two?) was horrible as Reed. And, are we supposed to believe that enough years separate Jessica Alba and Chris Evans for the Storm siblings to have actually developed a parent-child relationship?

THE MAIN CAST

Hugh Laurie as Mister Fantastic/Reed Richards

Hugh Laurie is awesome, which is really the only excuse you need to cast him in anything. However, we’ve also seen that he can play the smartest guy in the room on House. And, for those of you who don’t remember anything past the last three years, I’m here to tell you that Laurie can do much more than cranky asshole, he’d capture Reed’s absent-minded professor shtick without breaking a sweat.

Tricia Helfer as The Invisible Woman/Susan Storm Richards

This just in: people do not die at twenty-nine. I know, Hollywood, I know…it’s a shock. I can tell you’re surprised because none of your movies seem to star people in their thirties. Look, Reed’s an older dude and he met Sue when he was in college. Ignoring the fact that Helfer is just plain awesome, she’s also shown that she can project the combination of strength, brains, and beauty that we need for Sue.

Michael Chiklis as The Thing/Benjamin J. Grimm

and Chris Evans as The Human Torch/Johnny Storm

When a casting decision works, there’s no reason to change it just to be different. Chiklis was created by the hand of God to play Ben Grimm. As for Evans…well, to be honest, I was nervous when he was first cast, but damn did he nail Johnny. Plus, the chemistry between these two actors was just pitch-perfect.

Rutger Hauer as Doctor Victor von Doom

You can’t have a Fantastic Four movie without Doctor Doom. But, why anyone would think turning the super-awesome iron-clad despot of Latveria into a narcissistic corporate wanker is beyond me. Doom chills in a castle, not a penthouse.

FRIENDS/ALLIES

Traylor Howard as Alicia Masters

Alicia–the blind sculptor who wins Ben’s heart and shows him that no matter what he looks like on the outside, he’s still the same man on the inside–is as much a part of the team/family as anyone.

Chiwetel Ejiofor as The Black Panther/King T’Challa of Wakanda

Black Panther–who is, in actuality, King T’Challa of Wakanda–has been an ally of the Fantastic Four for years. As the Operative in Serenity, Ejiofor has shown a quiet nobility, strength of purpose, and an aptitude for choreographed fight scenes.

Lindy Booth as Frankie Raye

Frankie Raye and Johnny Storm dated for a while in the FF comics (leading to at least one joke about the song). Their relationship was a bit rocky, because Frankie was deathly afraid of fire. Of course, the reason she was afraid of fire was because she secretly had flame-based powers similar to the Human Torch. Lindy has three things going for her: she has action experience from her time on The Famous Jett Jackson, she’s Canadian, and she’s a redhead.

THE VILLAINS (There are enough kick-ass FF villains to populate three or four movies, without resorting to idiotic, pandering cloud-monsters in space.)

Clint Howard as Mole Man/Harvey Elder

Mole Man was the first villain that the Fantastic Four ever faced, waaaaay back in 1961’s issue #1. While he may not be as iconic an enemy as Doctor Doom, I think his place in the team’s history needs to be recognized. Plus, any excuse to put Clint Howard in a movie.

Temuera Morrison as Prince Namor of Atlantis

What’s the deal with Namor? Is he villain or ally? Both, maybe? Either way, he’s an arrogant douchebag who takes every opportunity to try and bag Reed’s wife. I have no other reason for choosing Morrison to play Namor other than Jango Fett was kind of an arrogant douchebag, too.

Nestor Carbonell as Diablo/Esteban Corazón de Ablo

Diablo is a 9th century alchemist who, after making a pact with a demon, is granted extreme longevity. Surviving to the modern day, Diablo uses his alchemical skills to try to conquer the world. I just like Carbonell, he was awesome as Batmanuel on The Tick.

Lee Arenberg as Red Ghost/Ivan Kragoff

Ivan Kragoff was a Soviet scientist who intentionally exposed himself and three research apes to cosmic rays, granting them all superpowers. I will repeat that, in case you missed it: Apes. With. Superpowers. He kind of looks the part, so I’d be willing to see if Arenberg could provide a passable Russian accent.

Brad Dourif as Puppet Master/Phillip Masters

With the ability to create puppets through which he can control the living (hey, I am not making this shit up), Puppet Master has frequently pitted the Fantastic Four against friends and allies, as well as each other. He also happens to be the adoptive father of Alicia Masters. Why Dourif? Well, he’s awesome. Also, he’s spent a large percentage of his career playing a doll, so I figured it was time he got a chance to pull the strings, as it were.

Billy Campbell as The Wizard/Bentley Wittman

With a near-superhuman level intellect, The Wizard frequently uses his genius and inventions to prove that he’s better than Mister Fantastic. He even went so far as to assemble his own team, the Frightful Four. There’s just something about Billy Campbell that says “I’m really smart, but also really fucking evil.”

Jeffrey Combs as Ulysses Klaw

Physicist Ulysses Klaw has had run-ins with the Fantastic Four and Black Panther on several occasions, eventually joining the Wizard’s Frightful Four. As a being composed of solid sound, Klaw can not only project deadly sonic blasts, but he is also super strong. As an actor who has reanimated the dead and aided super-powered abductees, I think Combs could do Klaw justice.

Zeljko Ivanek as The Trapster/Peter Petruski

Another member of the Frightful Four, the Trapster is an expert chemist whose suit allows him to project a variety of powerful adhesives and lubricants, which he uses to trap his adversaries. Ivanek recently appeared on Heroes as a government agent obsessed with hunting and trapping individuals gifted with special abilities.

Adam Baldwin as Hydro-Man/Morris Bench

The fourth member of the Frightful Four, Hydro-Man has the ability to transform his body into a water-like substance, as well as the ability to control nearby bodies of water. Hydro-Man is a big dude who’s somewhat lacking in intellect; Adam Baldwin is a big dude who plays characters of varying intellect.