Tag Archives: Avengers

Browncoats Assemble!

A few days ago–April 1, to be precise–I saw a story about Joss Whedon’s name being thrown around as a possible director for Marvel’s upcoming Avengers movie. Given the date, I refused to believe it. Until this morning, when I saw this story.

I like Joss Whedon. I like Buffy. I like Firefly and Astonishing X-Men and Dr. Horrible. I know there’s a lot of Joss-hating going on these days, but I still like the guy. So, I’m going to remain excited that maybe…just maybe…Joss will get a shot at directing Avengers

Assemble This, Part Two: The Major Motion Picture

A few weeks back, I wrote a post about who I’d want on the Avengers. Since then, Marvel has announced the actual rosters for two of the fifteen* new Avengers titles that are coming our way later this year. Personally, I think I’d still rather see my lineup. But, since that doesn’t seem likely to happen, the least I can do is make a movie in my brain with these characters. (We’re going to have to ignore a very old post wherein I already cast an Avengers movie. Hey, times change, deal with it.)

Ryan McPartlin as Captain America/Steve Rogers

Yeah…I’m still pulling for Chuck‘s Captain Awesome to play Captain America.

Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man/Tony Stark

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Sean Bean as Thor

Yeah…I know they’re making a Thor movie and they’ve already cast some guy–an actor? a football player? an underwear model? I dunno… The point is, Bean should play the Norse god of thunder.

Jensen Ackles as Hawkeye/Clint Barton

Admit it: Dean Winchester is pretty much just Hawkeye with a shotgun.

Anna Torv as Mockingbird/Bobbi Morse

TORV!

Tricia Helfer as Ms. Marvel/Carol Danvers

Personally, I never really dug Helfer on BSG. But, as the nefarious Carla on Burn Notice? Now we’re talking. I’d like to see what she can do with Ms. Marvel.

Bridget Regan as Spider-Woman/Jessica Drew

Yeah…I dunno…just because.

Alexandra Daddario as Stature/Cassie Lang

I know, I know…she’s a brunette and Cassie is a blonde. Well, calm down, there’s this new shit called hair dye that can change the color of a person’s hair. Why her? Well, someone obviously thought she was plucky enough to play Annabeth in Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, so I imagine she’s plucky enough to play Stature.

Anton Yelchin as Vision/Jonas

I like this kid. I thought he was great as Chekov in Star Trek and part of me feels he could really nail this younger version of Vision.

Katharine Isabelle as Firestar/Angelica Jones

I can’t figure out if Katharine Isabelle is irrationally despised or just criminally underrated. I’m not saying she hasn’t been in some questionable productions…but, she’s also been in some pretty good shit, too.

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*: Or four. Are there four? I think there are four.

Assemble This

A few days ago, Marvel Comics announced their plans for the new direction they’ll be taking after the conclusion of the current Dark Reign/Siege storyline. After about a decade of a dark and depressing status quo that began with Avengers Disassembled and continued with Civil War, Secret Invasion, and Dark Reign, Marvel promises a return to an age of hope and optimism. A new age. A Heroic Age.

Now, this image has caused a lot of speculation…

…is this the new lineup for the Avengers? Maybe. Maybe not. Read the article. The story is not just about the Avengers, but all of Marvel’s heroes–the Avengers, the Fantastic Four (hello, Ben!), and more (Dr. McCoy, nice to see you…even if you’re still a fucking cat).

Now, like I said, this could be the new roster for the team–both the Thing and Beast have been part of the Avengers over the years–but, I’m not convinced. Mostly, because I have my own roster for the Avengers. It’s a little bit classic and a little bit modern. I don’t believe in thinking too far outside of the box for these things. The Avengers are Marvel’s preeminent heroes, you want the big guns–thinking otherwise leads to guys like Mon-El and Cyborg on the Justice League.

Here’s who I think should be on the new(ish) Avengers…

Captain America/Steve Rogers

Nothing against Bucky, he’s doing a damn good job, but Steve is Captain America. End of story.

Iron Man/Tony Stark

Tony’s got a lot to atone for…

Thor

At the moment, the thunder god is still exiled from Asgard, so Thor is a god without a home or a people. And, his current exile status may help him understand what Tony’s going through…allowing these two old friends to finally start the healing process.

Hawkeye/Clint Barton

Poor Hawkeye…he’s dead; he’s alive; he’s Hawkeye; he’s Ronin; he’s a widower; he’s not a widower.

Mockingbird/Bobbi Morse

I refuse to have Hawkeye without Mockingbird. Sue me.

Ms. Marvel/Carol Danvers

I don’t know much about Carol outside of her recent appearances in New Avengers, but…why wouldn’t you want her on the team?

Spider-Woman/Jessica Drew

See above. Also, my Avengers team is a Parker-free zone, so Jessica will be the only spider in town.

Stature/Cassie Lang

Not only has Cassie proven her worth on the Mighty Avengers, but as the daughter of the previous Ant-Man, she has that whole legacy thing going on.

Vision

An Avengers team without Vision is like a Justice League without Martian Manhunter. And, with Cassie on the team…well, wherever Timmy goes so goes Lassie.

Firestar/Angelica Jones

Yup.

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You’ll note a few things:

1. No Spider-Man.

2. No Wolverine.

3. No Sentry.

Let’s keep it that way.

Let’s Cast…THE AVENGERS

With Iron Man steamrolling its way through the box office, it looks like Marvel’s new film production arm is giving the green light to a bunch of movies, all leading up to The Avengers. Since Marvel is busy with Brand New Days and Secret Invasions, I thought I’d give them a hand with casting.

The Plot: Loki, Norse god of mischief, has come to Earth in an attempt to destroy his half-brother, Thor, once and for all. He tricks the Hulk into going on a rampage, forcing Nick Fury and SHIELD to assemble a team of heroes to take the Green Goliath down before he can cause too much destruction.

The Cast: Three of the main characters have already been cast in other movies–

Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man/Tony Stark

Samuel L. Jackson as Col. Nick Fury of SHIELD

Edward Norton as Dr. Bruce Banner

Here’s how I would fill out the rest of the cast:

Kevin McKidd as Captain America/Steve Rogers

A child of the Depression, Steve Rogers volunteered for a top secret experiment during WWII, becoming Captain America. Believed killed in action, Rogers was actually frozen in suspended animation for over 60 years. Though still awe-inspiring on the battlefield, Cap finds himself trying to come to grips with the 21st Century.

Sean Bean as Thor/Dr. Donald Blake

Son of Odin, a god amongst men. To learn humility, Thor was sent to Earth in the form of Donald Blake. However, when his wicked half-brother arrives, Thor does battle as only a god of Asgard can.

Michelle Monaghan as Wasp/Janet van Dyne

The brilliant and beautiful daughter of Vernon van Dyne, co-creator of the miniaturization technology known as “Pym” particles. When her father was killed during a break-in at his lab, Janet uses his invention to become the tiny, but deadly, Wasp.

Paul Walker as Ant-Man/Scott Lang

A petty thief and electronics whiz, Scott Lang was in the wrong place at the right time when he broke into the van Dyne home one night. Interrupting the men who had murdered Dr. van Dyne, Scott dons the Ant-Man costume and teams up with van Dyne’s daughter, Janet, to bring the murderers to justice.

Ryan Reynolds as Hawkeye/Clint Barton

Barton’s a highly trained Army sniper. When his unit is wiped out during one of the Hulk’s rampages, the cocky and arrogant marksman takes it upon himself to track the Jade Juggernaut and make him pay, a course of action that brings Barton face-to-face with Fury’s Avengers.

Alan Tudyk as Dr. Henry “Hank” Pym

Vernon van Dyne’s partner and co-creator of “Pym” particles. Dr. Pym had hoped to use the particles himself, but they reacted badly with his immune system, forcing him to abandon any dreams he may have had to be a hero. He joined Fury’s Avengers Initiative where he serves as head scientist and “exposition monkey.” Now he stands on the sidelines, watching the woman he loves fight injustice alongside another man. (Can you think of a better reason why he would create the evil robot Ultron in Avengers 2?)

Dylan Moran as Loki

When the Norse god of mischief learns that Thor has been banished to the mortal realm, he can’t help but come to see for himself. He encounters the Hulk during one of his rampages and tricks the Green Goliath into helping him torment his half-brother.