Category Archives: random shit

Top 10 Fictional Characters I Would Totally Marry

As these things often do, this list began life as part of a conversation on Twitter and it just kinda snowballed from there (also as these things often do). So, without further ado…

1. Kitty Pryde

Kitty’s mutant power allows her to walk through walls. But, she doesn’t need any special powers to walk into my heart.

2. Amy Pond

Redhead. Scottish. Shut up.

3. Stephanie Brown

I stand by my belief that, unless otherwise stated in the text, all fictional college students are at least 18 years old.

4. Kaywinnit Lee “Kaylee” Frye

Kaylee: “Wash, tell me I’m pretty.”

Wash: “Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.”

Kaylee: “Cuz I’m pretty?”

Wash: “Cuz you’re pretty.”

5. Veronica Mars

Intelligent. Tough. And frequently emotionally unavailable. Yup, right in my wheelhouse.

6. Rory Gilmore

Rory’s smart. She’s neurotic. She’s addicted to caffeine. ‘Nuff said.

7. Barbara Gordon

More than anything else, I may be most concerned that two (yes, two) characters on this list have been (or are) Batgirl.

8. Winifred “Fred” Burkle

Okay, okay…so I have a big wheelhouse. It has many rooms.

9. Marion Ravenwood

Marion. Ravenwood. Have you seen Raiders of the Lost Ark?

10. Jaina Solo

Jedi. Pilot. Plus her parents are Han Solo and Princess Leia.

Submitted: Hal Jordan’s Real Green Lantern Oath

“IN BRIGHTEST DAY, IN COLDEST AIR,

I SEE YOU HIDING OVER THERE.

IF YOU DON’T FEAR MY STEELY GLARE,

BEWARE THE POWER OF…

GREEN LANTERN’S HAIR!”

Presented Without Comment…

ALVIN, SIMON & SIMON, and THEODORE:

Let’s Cast…EXCALIBUR

With this X-Men: First Class prequel slowly rolling forward–not to mention another (crappy, I’m going to assume) Wolverine movie–it looks like Hollywood is doing it damnedest to squeeze every last penny out of Marvel’s Merry Mutants. What I can’t figure out is why they don’t try to mine some of the dozen or so other mutant-related comics in Marvel’s catalog–like the New Mutants. Or Excalibur.

Excalibur was a great series about a team of mutants that drew its roster from both the Marvel UK Captain Britain series and the X-Men. For a very long time, Excalibur was my very favorite series…then it was canceled and replaced with numerous sub-par relaunches. For an Excalibur movie, I’d (more or less) use the roster from the later issues.

Kevin McKidd as Captain Britain/Brian Braddock

Between Rome and Journeyman, something tells me that McKidd could handle any kind of weird that a movie like this would throw at him.

Georgia Moffett as Meggan

Moffett’s got the pixie-ish look that I’d want to see in the actress cast as Braddock’s girlfriend and teammate, Meggan–the mutant elf shapeshifting elemental. (Also, the fact that just mentioning Moffett’s name sends the David Tennant fangirls into a suicidal rage fills me with glee.)

Natalia Tena as Psylocke/Elizabeth “Betsy” Braddock

Although usually a member of the X-Men, I’d want to have Brian’s sister on this team…mostly because I think Natalia Tena is made of awesome.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner

I like JGL. If he can pull off a passable German accent, I think he’s got the right body type and facial features to play Nightcrawler. Also, he kind of owes me for G.I. Joe.

Mekenna Melvin as Shadowcat/Kitty Pryde

Kitty matured a lot during her time with Excalibur. As Casey’s daughter on Chuck, Melvin gave the impression that–despite her age and inexperience–she could, very easily, become a part of Team Bartowski.

Alexander Nevsky as Colossus/Piotr Rasputin

Nevsky is a huge Russian dude, I think that’s enough. (He was also in a movie called Moscow Heat…which just really tickles me.)

Lindy Booth as Marvel Girl/Rachel (Summers) Grey

Rachel was there from Day One. Booth’s got sass. Rachel’s got sass. I like sass.

Dylan Moran as Pete Wisdom

Go watch Black Books…I’ll wait…

Karen Gillan as Wolfsbane/Rahne Sinclair

Scottish? Check. Redhead? Check.

Jesse Eisenberg as Douglock

Okay…Douglock is (essentially) some strange amalgam of Warlock and Doug Ramsey (aka Cypher). Now, while I had originally cast Chris Colfer as Cypher in my New Mutants movie, I decided to go with someone different to be the fake Doug.

Gina Bellman as Dr. Moira MacTaggert

Moira had a long history with the X-Men–as friend, associate, and lover of Charles Xavier–before Excalibur started using her mutant research center on Muir Island as a base of operations. Why Bellman? Why not?

Browncoats Assemble!

A few days ago–April 1, to be precise–I saw a story about Joss Whedon’s name being thrown around as a possible director for Marvel’s upcoming Avengers movie. Given the date, I refused to believe it. Until this morning, when I saw this story.

I like Joss Whedon. I like Buffy. I like Firefly and Astonishing X-Men and Dr. Horrible. I know there’s a lot of Joss-hating going on these days, but I still like the guy. So, I’m going to remain excited that maybe…just maybe…Joss will get a shot at directing Avengers

How the Hell Do I Get Myself Into These Things?

No, this isn’t exactly earth-shattering news, I get that. But, I’ve somehow* managed to find myself re-watching four–Count ’em. Four!–shows on DVD.

We’ve got two of my all-time favorite sci-fi shows (I’d be willing to say all-time favorite shows, period) Farscape and Babylon 5. Look! Spoilery videos!

Then, we have Veronica Mars…a show that not only has one of the best TV dads ever (it’s true…even Joss Whedon says so), but also introduced me to my future wife:

And, finally, we have the underrated sci-fi/action/comedy The Invisible Man:

*: Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s all Ashley’s fault. Even if it isn’t, I’m just gonna blame her anyway.

Assemble This, Part Two: The Major Motion Picture

A few weeks back, I wrote a post about who I’d want on the Avengers. Since then, Marvel has announced the actual rosters for two of the fifteen* new Avengers titles that are coming our way later this year. Personally, I think I’d still rather see my lineup. But, since that doesn’t seem likely to happen, the least I can do is make a movie in my brain with these characters. (We’re going to have to ignore a very old post wherein I already cast an Avengers movie. Hey, times change, deal with it.)

Ryan McPartlin as Captain America/Steve Rogers

Yeah…I’m still pulling for Chuck‘s Captain Awesome to play Captain America.

Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man/Tony Stark

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Sean Bean as Thor

Yeah…I know they’re making a Thor movie and they’ve already cast some guy–an actor? a football player? an underwear model? I dunno… The point is, Bean should play the Norse god of thunder.

Jensen Ackles as Hawkeye/Clint Barton

Admit it: Dean Winchester is pretty much just Hawkeye with a shotgun.

Anna Torv as Mockingbird/Bobbi Morse

TORV!

Tricia Helfer as Ms. Marvel/Carol Danvers

Personally, I never really dug Helfer on BSG. But, as the nefarious Carla on Burn Notice? Now we’re talking. I’d like to see what she can do with Ms. Marvel.

Bridget Regan as Spider-Woman/Jessica Drew

Yeah…I dunno…just because.

Alexandra Daddario as Stature/Cassie Lang

I know, I know…she’s a brunette and Cassie is a blonde. Well, calm down, there’s this new shit called hair dye that can change the color of a person’s hair. Why her? Well, someone obviously thought she was plucky enough to play Annabeth in Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, so I imagine she’s plucky enough to play Stature.

Anton Yelchin as Vision/Jonas

I like this kid. I thought he was great as Chekov in Star Trek and part of me feels he could really nail this younger version of Vision.

Katharine Isabelle as Firestar/Angelica Jones

I can’t figure out if Katharine Isabelle is irrationally despised or just criminally underrated. I’m not saying she hasn’t been in some questionable productions…but, she’s also been in some pretty good shit, too.

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*: Or four. Are there four? I think there are four.