Category Archives: geeky stuff

A League of My Own

A while back, I threw together my dream Avengers roster. Because I don’t want to play favorites–and because from what I’ve seen the current team was created by a six-year-old–I’ve decided to put together my dream roster for DC’s Justice League.

There are a few rules I operated under. First, no sidekicks. I love Bart, Cassie, and Tim. But, they’re sidekicks and will remain as such. Second, characters who are widely associated with another established group were not in the running. Therefore, no Power Girl, Hawkman, or Captain Marvel. Whether or not I like these characters is irrelevant, in my mind they belong on the Justice Society of America. (This second rule may or may not be broken when it serves my own nefarious purposes.)

The Big Three:

Just like I wouldn’t want an Avengers team without Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man, I don’t want a Justice League without Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman.

Superman/Clark Kent

He may lack the tactical expertise of Bruce and Diana, but you can’t deny that Clark is one inspirational bastard. All you really need to succeed is Clark believing that you can.

Batman/Bruce Wayne


He’s Batman…why wouldn’t you want him on your team? Master tactician. World’s greatest detective. Paranoid freak. Plus, he can single-handedly defeat a clan of White Martians with a book of matches.

Wonder Woman/Princess Diana of Themyscira

Diana equals Clark in power and Bruce in tactics and hand-to-hand skill. She is, in every sense, a born warrior.

Aquaman/Arthur Curry

I like Aquaman. I have no problem mocking him, but I like him. I also have no problem with magic-water-hand Aquaman. As long as it’s Arthur, I’m happy.

Martian Manhunter/J’onn J’onzz

Just like every Avengers team needs Vision, every Justice League needs J’onn. ‘Nuff said.

Green Lantern/Hal Jordan

For the longest time, I never really liked Hal–mostly because of all those lame boxing gloves from the old Super Friends show. But, I confess to having a weakness for these kinds of devil-may-care cowboy types.

The Flash/Wally West

I’m a firm believer that every team needs a speedster. Wally is, and always will be, “my” Flash.

Green Arrow/Oliver Queen

If you’re going to have Hal, you need Ollie. These guys are awesome together. (Part of me kinda wants Barry on the team to complete the second trinity, but I’m a Wally guy all the way.)

Black Canary/Dinah Lance

I like that Canary can not only hold her own next to folks like Batman and Wonder Woman, but also that she’s always ready to call Ollie on his shit.

The Atom/Ray Palmer

Ray comes from the generation of down-to-earth heroes that included Barry Allen and Ralph Dibny. On a team that includes aliens, space cops, and Amazon princesses, Ray serves as a constant reminder of the power of the human spirit.

Zatanna Zatara

What?!?!

Metamorpho/Rex Mason

Having Metamorpho on a team with Martian Manhunter may be redundant, but I just love this guy. Also, I know this violates Rule #2, but I don’t care.

Go, Wests! My True Geek Confession

In the grand tradition of Scott & Jean Day, the geeks of the Internet have returned to bring you True Geek Confessions.

Unpopular opinions: we all have them. Sometimes you stand alone in loving a super niche-y run of a popular comic book series. Sometimes you’re the only person on the entire planet to ’ship a certain ’ship. Sometimes you simply Do Not Get a movie the rest of your geeky brethren is falling all over themselves about. And because a lot of fandom is about sharing loves and hates and communing with your fellow geeks, this can feel awfully lonely. But perhaps if we confess our most unpopular opinions for all the internet to see…well, we’ll feel just a little bit better.

This is an interesting topic for me to write about, mostly because I don’t believe in guilty pleasures and I don’t believe in apologizing for things you like or don’t like. A lot of life seems to revolve around concealing the former and a lot of fandom seems to involve the latter.

Anyway…here goes…

I love the Wests.

There, I said it. When I started reading comics, Wally West was The Flash. Sure, I knew who Barry Allen was from the awesome ’90s TV series, but Wally has been (and will always be) my Flash. And what I love most about Wally is that, probably more than any other hero in the DC Universe, he embodies the down-to-earth, blue-collar American dream. Even though Wally’s been a superhero for his entire life, he’s the quintessential everyman. And, what’s more everyman than settling down with a wife and kids? And, Wally’s had to fight for his family, too, whether it’s asking Uncle Hal Jordan/Spectre to magically erase knowledge of his secret identity or whisking his wife and newborn twins off to the safety of an alternate reality.

Normally, I’m anti-relationship. I think relationships between fictional characters prevent them from doing their jobs and that’s why I read books, go to movies, watch TV shows: to see people do things. But, as one of DC’s legacy heroes, the Flash is all about family and heritage, so it makes sense that Wally would eventually get married and have kids. And, if you have to get married, why not get married to a doctor/journalist:

Of course, kids aren’t always such a hot idea for superheroes, either. The biggest problem I had with Superman Returns was Bryan Singer trying to push that little hybrid tight-stain on me. I’m pretty sure the worst possible phrase to say in front of a Spider-Man fan is “Spider-baby.” And, don’t even get me started on that test-tube freak Damian Wayne. But, I’m not gonna lie, I love Iris and Jai West.

Sure, they aren’t perfect. For starters, Jai’s hyper-speed-force muscles were pretty damn creepy–but, I’ve always assumed the decision to give him that power was an attempt by DC Comics to avoid any comparisons between Jai West and Dash from The Incredibles. Also, the hyper-aging sub-plot never really worked for me, other than as a way to get the twins from newborn to pre-teen without signing Wally and Linda up for their AARP cards. However, credit must be given for coming up with the concept of the West twins sharing a link to the Speed Force, explaining all the problems that they’ve experienced since returning to the main DCU. And, while I’m a little fuzzy on what actually happened in Flash: Rebirth*, how goddamn sweet was it when Iris became the new Impulse?

Now, I’m not entirely sure if this counts as a “True Geek Confession.” I have seen quite a bit of negative reaction to the West twins on the Internet (although, the Internet has been known to say bad things about oxygen…so, take that with a grain of salt), but I don’t know if that’s the dominant opinion or just the louder one. Either way, I don’t care. I love the West family.

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*: Here thar be possible SPOIL-ARRS!

In Flash: Rebirth, we learn that the West twins share a connection to the Speed Force. And, since they’re basically both feeding off the same tether, each sibling only has a 50% connection, which explains why they’ve had issues with their powers and all that crazy hyper-aging. Anyway, to save both twins, one of them had to accept the full connection. As I read it, Iris gave up her half of the connection to take away her brother’s pain, but the Speed Force decided to give her the whole enchilada, instead. Now, others have read it as Iris making the conscious choice to take her brother’s half of the connection for herself. Guess we’ll find out what really happened when the mini-series (eventually) concludes.

Is It Me…

…or does Matt Smith’s Eleventh Doctor–

–look more than a little bit like Crispin Glover’s George McFly from Back to the Future?

I just hope, at some point in the fifth season, some vile alien menace grabs new Companion Amy Pond (Karen Gillan)*–

–forcing the Doctor to declare: “Hey you…get your damn hands off her!”

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*: Yes, I know I didn’t need to include a picture of Amy…but, it’s my blog, so I get to do whatever I want.

Dear Hollywood: Stop Doing It Wrong!

So it seems like names are already being thrown around for Peter Jackson’s adaptation of The Hobbit. I’m sure the studio has already compiled a list of actors currently appearing in teen dramas on The CW to compete for the role of Bilbo Baggins.

We can all agree that there’s only one person out there who can play Bilbo (played in Jackson’s original trilogy by Ian Holm)…

And, that person is…

I Don’t Care What You Think…

…this still makes me laugh like a 12-year-old…

Enter Sandman

So, I survived an unseasonably muggy Halloween night dressed as Golden Age comic hero Sandman.

Here’s the proof:

Sandman1 Sandman2

 

Sandman3

 

Sandman4

If I Ran Gotham City…

If you haven’t been paying attention to what’s been going on in DC’s Batman titles over the last few months, then you’ve missed what’s more or less been a game of Musical Cowls. All of the new faces in the Batcave got me thinking: what would be my dream Bat-team? Luckily, I have this blog, so I can write down my ideas and force you all to experience my brilliance.

Batman:

Yeah, there’s just no way around this: Bruce Wayne is Batman. I have no explanation for this, because there are certain truisms that just do not need to be explained. The Sun is hot. Water is wet. Bruce Wayne is Batman. Next!

batman4

Red Robin:

I really haven’t read a lot of Pre-Crisis comics, so I’m not at all familiar with the original Red Robin. However, I guess you can’t be a Boy Wonder forever…and, I guess Tim Drake has earned the right to adopt a new identity. Plus, the costume is kind of cool.

red robin

Nightwing:

Dick Grayson’s always fought to be his own man. From creating the Nightwing identity to moving to Bludhaven, Dick’s never wanted to live in his mentor’s shadow. So, while I get why he’d honor Bruce’s memory by wearing the cape and cowl, he’ll always be Nightwing to me.

nightwing

Robin:

Fuck Damian Wayne. Now, I’ve always been a fan of Tim Drake’s Robin, but I’m willing to accept Tim in his new role as Red Robin. Therefore, we need someone else to fill the role of Batman’s sidekick. Honestly, why was Stephanie Brown only allowed to be Robin for about a minute and a half?

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Batwoman:

I have absolutely no thoughts on Kate Kane being Batwoman one way or the other.

batwoman-modern

Batgirl:

While I’m pleased that Steph is getting to be the new Batgirl in the actual DC Universe–despite one of the lamest costume designs I’ve seen in a while–I’d much rather see her as Robin. I’m not sure Gotham needs a Batgirl and a Batwoman…and, for my money, Barbara Gordon will always be Batgirl. But, if I need someone in that identity, I don’t see why it shouldn’t be Cassandra Cain.

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