To Me, My X-Men!

Do you know what the world needs? An all-ages, continuity-free X-Men title. A title where characters don’t die horribly (over and over again), where they don’t carry on lurid telepathic affairs, and where they don’t form blood-thirsty, baby-killing death squads.

To be honest, I’m kind of shocked Marvel doesn’t already have an X-Men title in their Marvel Adventures line. Good thing I’m around.

Time to fire up Cerebro and find us some mutants…

Cyclops (Scott Summers)

I know a lot of people don’t like Cyke because he’s all about rules and strategy and that’s just not “sexy.” But, y’know, every team needs this guy. Where would the Ninja Turtles be without Leonardo?

Marvel Girl (Jean Grey)

Can’t have Scott without Jean. Besides, I like Jean. Not a fan of the whole Phoenix identity…but I’m not sure that “Marvel Girl” is an appropriate name for Ms. Grey, either.

Beast (Hank McCoy)

No cats. Ever.

Wolverine (Logan)

I’d keep Wolverine the cranky, fly-in-the-ointment character he was meant to be. The title is X-Men…not Wolverine and Some Other Folks.

Storm (Ororo Munroe)

Despite the laughably horrible performance by Halle Berry, I do like Storm and always save a spot for her on any incarnation of the X-Men.


I’ve always liked Rogue. It could be the accent. Personally, I like the original recipe Rogue, before she went and permanently absorbed Ms. Marvel’s powers.

Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde)

Shut up!

Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)

I refuse to live in a world where Kurt is dead. This way,  I wouldn’t have to.

Colossus (Piotr Rasputin)

I think Pete, here, has the same kind of “he’s not a bad boy so he ain’t cool” stigma that Scott has. Too bad being (or, at least, trying to be) a good person doesn’t get the same kind of respect that being a douche gets.

Iceman (Bobby Drake) and Angel (Warren Worthington, III)

This roster is kind of out of control…and, even though I like Bobby and Warren, I’m not sure they need to be on the team.  Of course, with 3/5 of the original team here, I’d feel bad leaving them out.

Professor Charles Xavier

And, behind it all, I’d have Professor Charles “Hope You Don’t Mind if I Live Vicariously Through My Teenage Students’ Hooking Up With Each Other” Xavier. 


6 responses to “To Me, My X-Men!

  1. Very 80’s / early 90’s inlfuenced… Haha… But that is when “all-ages” were ACTUALLY reading the X-Men…

  2. And with good reason…the first two X-Men stories I ever read were The Dark Phoenix Saga and The Asgardian Wars.

  3. madmarvelgirl

    It’s sort of baffling that a title like that doesn’t exist. As much as I liked “First Class” it necessarily had a limited cast and possibly a limited appeal because of that. Especially when they were trying to sell the ‘Wolverine & the X-Men’ TV show and marketing the 90s DVD’s. Huh.

  4. This is a good post and a smart post.

    I suspect that one of the reasons why this hasn’t happened yet is First Class’s sales figures, especially the Uncanny variation of it. Another reason? It’s become extraordinarily difficult for anybody to write an X-Men story that is not wrapped up in its own continuity, and that is the opposite quality that all-ages books need to have. Editorially, I wonder if there isn’t some implicit connection between X-Men and “for continuity junkies.”

  5. Well, I know I’d read it. It’s a great idea, and a great cast.

  6. hell to the yeah!!! wait, isn’t this a melding of X-Men/X-Factor Forever minus continuity?

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