Teaser Tuesday

After a bunch of folks have started posting teasers of their WIPs, I figured I’d throw my hat into the Teaser Tuesday ring.  Since this is my first stab at posting a teaser, I’m not sure how much background I should provide.  I’ll just say this is from an early chapter of my current untitled WIP, which is (theoretically) the first book in a series of superhero novels:

The force of the blast had thrown Douglas clear across the cluttered basement, where he landed amid a stack of musty old cardboard boxes.  He was soaked from head to toe.  His shirt clung to his body and water ran in tiny rivulets down his face, stinging his eyes.  Droplets clung to the lenses of his wire frame glasses.

Now he understood why they used to use water cannons as crowd control.  You put enough pressure behind it, and water could hit you like a speeding bus.  Not that Douglas had ever been hit by a speeding bus; but, after today, he was pretty sure he knew what it would feel like.

“Why did you come here?”

Douglas blinked, trying to focus on the source of the voice.  His head was still a little foggy after slamming into the boxes at several feet per second.  The specks and streaks on his glasses didn’t help.

Byron.  Felix Byron.  Right, now he remembered.  That creepy son of a bitch blindsided him as soon as he got to the bottom of the stairs.

That single recollection seemed to flip a switch and Douglas’ vision came into sharp focus.  The figure standing over him was of average height and build.  His black hair hung in a long, greasy mane that just about reached his shoulders.  He studied Douglas with dark, heavy-lidded eyes set into a face that could have been considered attractive if it wasn’t covered in grime and stubble.

“You’ve got to stop, Byron,” Douglas said, not noticing until just than that his breathing was still somewhat labored.  “You’ve been a bad boy.  And you have to stop.”  He almost added “Because you’re ruining it for the rest of us”, but decided maybe now wasn’t the best time to be snarky.

Byron chuckled.  Actually chuckled, but without the slightest emotion-neither mirth nor malice.  If it had been a maniacal chuckle that wouldn’t have been so bad.  But, a cold and emotionless chuckle was just…wrong.

Byron tilted his head to one side and studied Douglas.  His eyes moved quizzically, the way you look at something right before you rip it open to see how it works.  “And who’s gonna stop me?” he asked, coolly.  “You?”

Deciding it was time to cut a slightly more dashing figure, Douglas extricated himself from his nest of soggy cardboard and got–rather shakily, he had to admit–to his feet.  “If I have to.”

Again that chuckle.  “Unlikely.”  Byron’s right arm snapped out, the palm facing Douglas, and a jet of water erupted forth.

Not again, Douglas thought, as the near-solid stream of rushing liquid hit him square in the face.  His nostrils burned as the water forced itself up his nose and down his throat.  He coughed and gagged as the continuous torrent of water started to fill his lungs.

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14 responses to “Teaser Tuesday

  1. Love it! My kind of writing. I’m not sure I’d seen any of your fiction before. ^_^ Good show.

  2. “His shirt clung to his body and water ran in tiny rivulets down his face, stinging his eyes.”

    Was it salt water? Otherwise it would just be annoying, not sure about the stinging. I wish you had posted the beginning of whatever this is. I always have such a hard time getting into things in the middle.

    Is it wrong that while reading this, all I could picture was Nathan Fillion without a shirt on? I think I watched Castle too late last night.

    P.S. You’re really brave for posting this (not because it’s bad, but because people reading your fiction is scary).

  3. P.P.S. That was me not-so-subtly asking you to post the beginning of the novel.

  4. @Matt Thanks…glad you liked it.

    @Ashley ‘Subtle’ is never a word I would associate with you…but I’ll see what I can do. Now that BSG is over and Apollo has gone away, I’m sure most things will make you picture Nathan Fillion without a shirt on.

  5. I like it. I want to read more. You’re very talented. Anyone who’s ever bellyflopped knows water can hurt. Good job!

  6. I like, and very much. I definitely wanted to keep going. You do action quite well!

    I’ll be posting mine–also a first-timer–sometime tonight.

  7. You do do action well Danno…..it’s good, keep going…..enjoy the feedback…..it’s when people see one’s stuff and there is silence that one should worry…..

  8. Very nice! I love that the presumed hero of the scene is currently getting his ass kicked by a jet of water. 🙂

    I’m obsessed with proofreading – “You’ve got to stop, Byron,” Douglas said, not noticing until just than that his breathing was still somewhat labored. The “than” should be “then.” 🙂

  9. Very nice!

    I’d certainly be intrigued enough to pick up that novel.

  10. @Kristin and Paul Thanks. I’ve always found that action and dialogue are a lot easier for me than description.

    @Renee Don’t worry about it…that’s why it’s always a good idea to have a fresh pair of eyes look something over.

    @Jennifer Excellent. That’s one copy sold!

  11. Awesome. I love Douglas already. Strong voice and a great scene.

    “That creepy son of a bitch blindsided him as soon as he got to the bottom of the stairs.”

    Love it. More purty please?

  12. I like it! good stuff. more please!

  13. Very cool. Post more, please!

  14. Pingback: Teaser Tuesday « Faust’s Fantastically Fantasmagoric Forum

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