Four on the Floor #8: The Best Rides That Don’t Exist

The Situation: You need to get from Point A to Point B and, let’s face it, you want to do it in style. Sure, there are plenty of pretty sweet rides out there–personally, I’m partial to Dodge Chargers and Ford Mustangs–but, some of the most kick-ass ways to get around just don’t exist in the real world.

The Criteria: It’s pretty simple: a vehicle that doesn’t exist or an existing vehicle that’s been modified beyond the capabilities of current technology. Which means that, as awesome as the General Lee is, it was still just a regular old ’69 Charger. For my own purposes, I’m also disqualifying the TARDIS because I’ve always felt it was a tad bit more than a regular ship.

1. Doc Brown’s De Lorean (Back to the Future I, II, & III)

I’m too young to remember the original De Lorean, but just the right age to have been obsessed with the time machine that Emmett L. Brown built into one. A regular De Lorean might have been cool, but slap on a flux capacitor, grab some plutonium and get that puppy up to 88 mph and it’s about 85% cooler. It’s a car and a time machine…and it could fly!

2. K.I.T.T. (Knight Rider)

The idea of a talking sports car that fights crime could only have been born in the Eighties, a.k.a. The Era of the Most Awesome Storytelling Ever. As a kid, there was nothing better than the thought that there’s a car out there that could drive itself, Turbo Boost over bad guys, and help you do your math homework.

3. Serenity (Firefly & Serenity)

She might not look like much on the outside–in fact, Serenity kind of looks like a bigger version of the tinfoil ducks that fancy restaurants put your leftovers in–but there’s just something about her. She doesn’t have any weapons, but she’s got heart. And, as spaceships go, she’s the closest you’re going to get to a “home.” Plus, she has a damned cute mechanic.

4. The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, The Return of the Jedi)

Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve had a lifelong love affair with this ship. Not only did the Falcon make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs, but she’ll make .5 past lightspeed. She’s the muscle car of sci-fi, with enough firepower and balls to go head-to-head against an entire squadron of TIE fighters or an Imperial Star Destroyer. The fact that the Falcon is held together with spit and good intentions and tends to break-down at the least opportune times just adds to her character.

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3 responses to “Four on the Floor #8: The Best Rides That Don’t Exist

  1. You hit the nail on the head with these. Although I do have a soft spot for the Batmobil.

  2. oh, and Aladdin’s magic carpet.

  3. Wow…Aladdin’s carpet? I didn’t even think of that one.

    I had considered the Batmobile, but I couldn’t decide on what version…and some of them were kinda lame.

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