They’re Giant Robots…Get Over Yourself

(DISCLAIMER: What follows are my opinions on a movie. You are welcome to have your own opinions and to disagree with mine. You are not welcome to treat your opinions as fact in an attempt to tell me that I am wrong for liking what I like. General Internet douchebaggery is no longer welcome in my corner of the world. Respectful debate and discussion are, as always, welcome. Violators will be flayed.)

I’m just going to get this over with right now–sort of like ripping off a band-aid–so, here goes: I loved Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Loved it. It was awesome. It was two-and-a-half hours of nonstop fun. Fun, people. Was it a great movie? Hell, no. Was it a good movie? Eh…probably not. But. It. Was. Fun.

I don’t know about you, but I’m incredibly shocked that this movie, which was directed by Michael Bay, looked like a Michael Bay movie. Damn. Never saw that coming. It’s like this one time, when I went to a sushi restaurant and the waiter brought me a bunch of raw fish. What was up with that? There was nothing going on in Revenge of the Fallen that Bay hasn’t done before in pretty much every other movie he’s made. The only problem is that the Transformers are sacred to some people…and, to be honest, nothing is sacred to Bay. Bay doesn’t give a shit about what people expect. He just does things because he thinks they’re funny or awesome and, you know what, he’s usually right. Bay is an auteur in every sense of the word. I have no idea why Bay thought a tiny robot humping a hot girl’s leg was funny…but, dammit, he was right. That’s why he’s Michael Bay and I’m not.

This movie was not perfect. But, nothing is. As my good friend, Mr. Data, once said: “Believing oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional mind.” However, this movie was a blast. I laughed for almost the entire two-and-a-half hours. I don’t care if I was laughing with the movie or at it (and Bay doesn’t care, either), but I laughed. I forgot the annoying, soul-crushing abyss that is work. I forgot the troubled economy. I forgot the fact that NYC has had a grand total of two sunny days in the last three weeks. I forgot all of this and just had fun, like pretty much everyone else in the packed theater. I mean, c’mon, how can you not laugh when one character shows another character a film that was supposedly made in the Thirties…and it’s in color? That’s funny shit, cats and kittens.

I know a lot of fans are upset because these Transformers are radically different from the Transformers they know from television and comics. Well…um…which ones? I’m G1 guy. I watched the show when it was originally broadcast in the early-eighties. I bid farewell to childhood innocence when Optimus Prime died in 1986. I collected the Marvel comic (which, by the way, had a continuity separate from that of the cartoon, yet I was still able to enjoy it). Then, “my Transformers” went away. Everything that’s come since–with the exception of Beast Wars/Machines and some of the comics–has not thrilled me. So, should Bay have been forced to use the G1 characters for my benefit? No. And it would be silly to expect the filmmakers to pick any of the other pre-existing continuities to blindly adapt for the new movies.

Now, about the acting. I know that hating on Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox has become almost as popular as pretending that a dearly departed pop star didn’t rape young boys, but enough. I happen to like LaBeouf quite a bit. He was Louis Stevens for god’s sake, it’s not his fault that he’s been cast in two different geek-centric franchises, neither of which could have possibly been good enough to satisfy the angry nerd-quakes that ripple across the Internet. As for Megan Fox…well, she’s not my cup of tea–but, neither are about 89% of Hollywood “It Girls”–and, maybe she should think a little longer before she says things to the press, but otherwise, who cares? There’s also been rumblings about John Turturro. A lot of people “feel sorry for him.” Why? Look at him…he’s had more fun in these two Transformers flicks than he’s had in his entire career. Show me one other movie he’s been in where he gets to run around in a banana hammock? It’s okay for that Borat jag-off, but thrown in a few giant robots and it somehow becomes humiliating?

And, you know who I could watch for hours on end? Ma and Pa Witwicki. Those two characters are hilarious. Do a direct-to-DVD movie about Kevin Dunn and Julie White’s suburban empty nesters and I’ll eat it up. With a spoon.

Like I said before, this wasn’t the best movie I’d ever seen. It certainly wasn’t the Transformers movie I would have made…which probably explains why I’ve stopped getting those phone calls from big Hollywood studios. Yes, the story was retarded and, at times, a little jumbled…but, at least a goal was set and attained. That’s what movies need, folks: a fucking goal. Something (anything) needs to be accomplished and either the protagonists accomplish it or they don’t.

I do, however, have the same problems with Revenge of the Fallen that I had with the first Transformers movie. First of all, the Decepticons continue to be way too grey and pointy to be even remotely discernible from each other most of the time. The Autobots? Cool, man, I can tell them apart. Not so much with the Big Bads. Someone get those guys an Earth-based alt mode, please;  a little splash of color, a wheel here, a door there, some kind of identifiable markings. Secondly, at least in my opinion, there’s a lot of unnecessary robots running around: Tiny little bug things…way more construction vehicles than I’d ever thought possible. I think it goes back to my recognition issue. Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Ratchet: I know these names. It doesn’t matter what they look like, I’m already on board with these characters. Jolt? Skids? Mudflap? I know these characters exist in some continuities, but I’d have been happier if they were called–oh, I dunno–Wheeljack, Windcharger, and Cliffjumper. I also wouldn’t have said “no” to the inclusion of Shockwave, Rumble, and maybe Blitzwing or something…y’know, names I’d recognize. However, I did finally get Soundwave; too bad he was kinda lame. Oh well. But, none of this impeded my ability to enjoy the movie. Why? Because it was FUN.

A final thought: A lot of the negative reviews for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen seem to revolve around the idea that the movie is stupid and, therefore, anyone who would enjoy “a movie like this” is unintelligent. Well, all I have to say to that is “Fuck you.” You don’t have to like the movie, that’s cool. What you do have to do is respect the people who liked it. It’s their opinion, which is equally as valid as yours, professor. There are scads of movies out there that I wouldn’t see, even if you forced me at gunpoint. But, other folks seem to like them, and that’s enough to justify their existence to me. At no point, while earning my two degrees, was I asked what kind of books, movies, music, or TV shows I preferred. Probably, I’m assuming, because that shit has nothing to do with someone’s intellect. There should be every conceivable kind of movie being made. Options, people. Options. Just because you don’t like something, doesn’t mean that you should keep those who do from enjoying it. Also, just because someone doesn’t agree with you, it doesn’t make them stupid, unintelligent, or uneducated. Want to know how I know this, Mr. and Ms. Reviewer? Well, it’s simple: even on my worst day, I’m still smarter than you. And furthermore, I am confident enough in my intelligence that I don’t need to flaunt it or pretend that I am somehow above “the masses.”

I Scream, You Scream: A Review of MY SOUL TO TAKE

My exploratory expedition into the land of YA urban fantasy continues with Rachel Vincent’s My Soul to Take. I was lucky enough to pick up an autographed ARC of the first book in Vincent’s new YA series, Soul Screamers, at Book Expo.

Something is wrong with Kaylee Cavanaugh

She doesn’t see dead people, but…

She senses when someone near her is about to die. And when that happens, a force beyond her control compels her to scream bloody murder. Literally.

Kaylee just wants to enjoy having caught the attention of the hottest guy in school. But a normal date is hard to come by when Nash seems to know more about her need to scream than she does. And when classmates start dropping dead for no apparent reason, only Kaylee knows who’ll be next…

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I have a confession to make: I don’t like teenagers. I never really cared for them when I was one, and now that I’m slowly making my way through my thirties, I like them even less. For this reason, I tend to avoid stories that are strictly teen-centric. Unless, that is, they are grafted onto something “weird.” You’ll never see me watching The O.C., Gossip Girl, or Beverly Hills 90210, but I never missed an episode of Buffy, Roswell, or Veronica Mars. That’s why I like YA urban fantasy. It’s much easier for me to read a book about teenagers if they happen to be fighting demons, faeries, or grim reapers.

That brings me to Rachel Vincent’s My Soul to Take. From the blurb above, I think it’s safe to assume that you’ve all figured out that Kaylee is, in fact, a banshee–or, to be more accurate, a bean sidhe. A teenage bean sidhe, living in Texas. Yeah…that’s why I love urban fantasy. I love the way authors mix standard fantasy elements–whether it’s vampires, demons, faeries, or wizards–with the “real, modern world.” The worldbuilding aspect is my favorite part of urban fantasy, seeing how the author fits these two pieces–the fantastic and the mundane–together.

Anyway, Vincent’s first Soul Screamers (God, I love that name!) novel is amazing. My Soul to Take is an origin story, introducing us to Kaylee (love that name, too!), her family and friends, and the newly-discovered “hidden world” she inhabits, including the rules regarding bean sidhe and death. Unlike standard folklore, Vincent portrays the bean sidhe as a race that includes both men and women, with each gender having specific powers and abilities. And, since the bean sidhe are closely tied to death, Vincent gives us a glimpse of the delightfully bureaucratic “collection agency” known as Death, complete with interns and regional reapers.

Ideas are all well and good, but if an army marches on its stomach, a novel marches on its characters. I don’t care how interesting a world is or how cool a concept may be, I’m not going to get very far without great characters. Kaylee is a great addition to my list of spunky, smart-mouthed heroines. I love Kaylee’s dad, Aiden, and her Uncle Brendon (I’d love to see a separate series where the two brothers travel around fighting evil…sort of like Supernatural: All Growed Up). Then there’s Sophie Cavanaugh and Nash Hudson, two characters who could have easily been little more than ciphers. Sophie is Kaylee’s cousin–a bubbly, blonde dancer. While she can occasionally be an out-right bitch, Sophie isn’t just another “mean girl.” She isn’t an inherently bad person, she’s just someone who’s used to getting what she wants–from her parents, from her teachers, from boys–making her a perfect foil for Kaylee, who pretty much has to work for everything. Plus, there’s a great running gag about the teachers at their school assuming that Sophie and Kaylee are sisters, which doesn’t sit well with either of them. That leaves Nash Hudson, the “hottest guy in school” mentioned in the blurb above. When Nash is introduced, he’s set-up to be the stereotypical alpha-male high school jock…but, dammit if Vincent didn’t make me like the kid. In the span of about five pages, Nash goes from being the book’s douchebaggy Parker Abrams to being the supportive and trustworthy Riley Finn.

So, yeah, I loved My Soul to Take. If you’re a fan of YA fiction or urban fantasy, you should totally check it out when it’s released in August. As for me, I’ll be patiently awaiting the release of My Soul to Save.

I Think I Still Prefer Robert Hays

This past month, the Fantastic Fangirls challenged themselves and their readers to try something new.  I decided to give DC’s Starman a go.  I was only familiar with Starman as a guest-star in numerous DC comics that I’ve read over the years (the team-up Starman had with Batman is the one that sticks out in my mind the most), but I’ve heard some good things from various people about the book.  People with fairly varied taste in comics all seem to like Starman…so, what the hell was I waiting for?

I tracked down a copy of Sins of the Father, a trade that collects the first six issues (#s 0-5) of Starman, written by James Robinson, with art by Tony Harris.  Now, while I didn’t really dislike the book, I can honestly say: I just don’t think Starman is for me.

In theory, I should have loved Starman.  Starman is one of DC’s legacy heroes, and I love DC’s legacy heroes.  Whether it’s the Flash family, the Green Lanterns, the Arrow clan…I love ‘em all.  But, something about the Knight family just rubs me the wrong way.  Ted Knight was the Golden Age Starman, protector of Opal City.  After he retires, his oldest son David inherits the mantle.  Then there’s Jack, the youngest of the Knight boys.  Jack is a stereotypical ’90s disaffected youth.  He runs a junk shop and doesn’t understand why his older brother runs around in long underwear.  Since this first trade is the origin of Jack as Starman, it doesn’t take long for David to be offed and Jack and his dad to get into that whole “I don’t wanna follow in your footsteps, I want to live my own life!” cliche.  Skip ahead, skip ahead, skip ahead.  Jack accepts his place as his father and brother’s successor and even realizes that when he was a little kid he really idolized his dad and wanted to be Starman.

I think one of the problems I had with Starman is that–at least for the first few issues–none of the Knights were the least bit likable.  In the beginning, Jack was kind of an obnoxious little prick who, whether he did it intentionally or not, never missed a chance to take a dig at his brother’s choice of vocation and, by extension, the work his father did back in the day.  David wasn’t around that long, but he came off as the type to rub his father’s love and attention in Jack’s nose every chance he gets.  And Ted?  Holy Jesus, Ted Knight makes Bruce Wayne look like Father of the Fucking Year.  After David gets killed, someone attacks both Ted and Jack.  Ted ends up in the hospital and, when his surviving son visits him, he basically yells at the kid for boring him with the story of his own survival while poor, poor, Plot Devi–err–I mean, David is dead.  That’s some good parenting right there, kids.

I did, however, really dig The Shade, an immortal shadow-manipulator who’s tangled with both the Silver and Golden Age Flashes before retiring to Opal City.  He’s in Opal because it’s “quiet.”  This is true, in essence.  Several characters mention that Opal City has almost no crime, especially nowhere near as much crime–regular or super–as either Metropolis or Gotham City.  Why, then, does it even need a costumed hero?  Anyway, the Shade just kind of wants to be left alone.  But, if something’s going down that may disturb the peace and quiet of his city, he’ll grab his top hat and walking stick (no shit, he has those) and get his hands dirty, which is how he ends up helping Jack track down the people responsible for his brother’s murder.

Then we have the O’Dares, a family of Irish cops.  The O’Dare brothers–and sister, Hope–have sworn to protect Starman, after Ted saved their father’s life back in the day.  In theory, I dig this kind of honor.  There’s a certain Old World nobility to it…or, maybe it just reminds me of a Wookiee Life Debt.  So, after all is said and done, the characters I like most in Starman are a family of Irish cops and a semi-reformed super-villain.

Maybe, at some point in the future, I’ll revisit Jack Knight and the Starman series.  But, until then, this is the only Starman for me:

What the Hell Am I Waiting For?

As part of another Mega-Blog Crossover Event, the Fantastic Fangirls have asked us to pick something we’ve been resisting to read over the years and give it a shot.  Sounds like a good idea to me.

I’ve decided to give Starman a shot.  A lot of people really like this series…but, for some reason, I’ve never felt the urge to pick it up.  Until now.

Forward…ever forward!

Rorschach’s Journ–Ah, Screw It: My Thoughts on Watchmen

Yes, the rumors are true: I have finally seen Watchmen.  In brief, I liked it.  I liked it quite a bit–maybe more than I thought I would.

For the purposes of this review, I think I should first let you all know about my relationship to Watchmen.  I have read Alan Moore’s opus.  While I enjoyed the book, and acknowledge the influence it had on the comic book industry, I do not consider it to be Holy Scripture.  In fact, given the choice, I’d probably choose to re-read Chris Claremont’s Dark Phoenix Saga before I’d choose Watchmen.  That’s actually one of the reasons I waited so long to see the movie.  If it sucked, I did not need to get trampled in a stampede of rabid Alan Moore fans as they charged out of the theater to set cars on fire.

Turns out I really didn’t have much to worry about.

What worked?  Well, for starters, the cast.  I’m pretty willing to accept other people’s opinions about things–especially since I expect the same in return–but, if you’ve read Watchmen and do not think that Jackie Earle Haley totally nailed Rorschach, then you obviously hate puppies, candy, and America.  Sure, Haley’s “I’m the Goddamn Batman” growl isn’t exactly how I imagined the character would sound, but all other things being equal, it worked pretty well.  Haley might have walked away with the movie, but Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Patrick Wilson were also quite good as The Comedian and Nite Owl, respectively.  I’m willing to admit that I might be the only person on the planet who was excited to see Matt Frewer playing Moloch and Rob LaBelle as Wally Weaver–possibly the first time since Taken that these two fine character actors have appeared in the same production–but, I did “squee” internally when I saw them both for the first time.

Now, what can I say about Malin Akerman?  Correction: What can I say about Malin Akerman that won’t get me smacked by every woman I know?  Yes, Akerman’s Silk Spectre was pretty easy on the eyes.*  She also kind of looks like an adult version of Violet Parr, which is not a bad thing:

If I have one negative thing to say about Akerman’s performance it’s this: she comes off as too young.  Unless my math is off, Jupiter was about 27 when the Keene Act was passed, which would make her 35 in 1985.  Akerman, god bless her, looks at least a decade younger.  Not a deal breaker, just an observation.

For the most part, I think Billy Crudup did a pretty good job as Doctor Manhattan, although there were times when he came off as childlike, as opposed to disconnected.  I think the real weak link in the cast was Matthew Goode.  For someone who’s supposed to be the perfect human, Goode’s Ozymandias comes off as excruciatingly bland.  Maybe I’ve misread him in the book, but I would have expected him to be much more charismatic and a lot less…dull.

From a storytelling standpoint, both David Hayter and Zach Snyder did a good job of cutting down the massive text of Moore’s original, without losing too much of the core story.  The decision to use the opening credit sequence to tell a large chunk of the Minutemen backstory was a brilliant one, as were the decisions made regarding which aspects of the main characters’ backstories to include, and which to cut.  I was blown away by the adaptation of “The Abyss Gazes Also” and “Old Ghosts”–my favorite chapters–although I must agree with the overwhelming sentiment that the bathroom scene between Rorschach and Big Figure came off as a bit odd.

Personally, I didn’t miss the squid.  Again, this could go back to my whole “I don’t worship at the altar of Watchmen” thing, but I think the change works.  From a storytelling point of view, there wasn’t nearly enough time to fully explain Ozy’s giant mutant brain-squid.  However, we were shown the destructive nature of Doctor Manhattan’s powers throughout the entire film.  (It just struck me this morning that the Watchmen film basically used the “exploding man” story that Heroes did at the end of its first season, a storyline that was attacked for “stealing” the idea of destroying New York to create world peace from Moore’s Watchmen…and I found the whole thing pretty funny.)

Oh, and was it me or was Archie’s flamethrower the greatest ejaculatory metaphor ever caught on film?

What didn’t work?  The slo-mo.  Stop with the slow motion action scenes already, will ya!  Enough.  Once or twice, maybe, to prove a point or show something particularly awesome, but you don’t have to do it every time someone throws a punch.  I fear that the “Superhero Slo-Mo” may soon ruin films just like Bullet Time did.

Overall, I’d give Watchmen a 9 out of 10, with most of that last point going in the “Not bad, but not what I would have done” column.

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*: Seriously, have you seen Malin Akerman?!?

I Think Girls With Pointy Ears And Swords Are Hot…So Shoot Me.

I think a lot of people are surprised when I tell them that I’m not a big fan of fantasy. The truth is, a lot of the fantasy that I’ve read in the past has been either an obvious rip-off of LORD OF THE RINGS, or else it’s trying so hard to be “…more I think a lot of people are surprised when I tell them that I’m not a big fan of fantasy*.  The truth is, a lot of the fantasy that I’ve read in the past has been either an obvious rip-off of Lord of the Rings, or else it’s trying so hard to be “different” that I feel like it’s a jumbled mess.  However, I’m starting to explore the world of Urban Fantasy, and I’m enjoying it so far, partly because its use of a “real world” setting keeps the epic Tolkienocity (TM) to a minimum.  I also like stories where ordinary people come face to face with supernatural (or otherwise otherworldly) shit and just have to deal with it in whatever ways they can.

I think that’s why I liked Lisa Shearin’s Magic Lost, Trouble Found so much.

Sure, it takes place in a fantasy world with elves, goblins, dwarfs, faeries, and dragons, but it’s a lot closer to a standard Urban Fantasy novel, many of which draw on the tropes of hardboiled and noir detective stories.  It came as no surprise that Shearin is a fan of Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files, since Raine Benares–like Harry Dresden–is both detective (called a “seeker” in this world) and mage.  Raine is also sarcastic, smart, spunky, and pretty good with swords.  She also happens to be an elf (y’know, if you care about that kind of stuff).  Like every good private detective, Raine walks a delicate line between law and order, having friends and associates on both sides–just like Dresden, Spenser, Fritz Malone and Philip Marlowe.

I’ll definitely pick up the second book.

*: The exception, of course, being Robert E. Howard’s Conan stories…those kick serious ass.

Hello Kitty!

If you know me, then you know that one of my favorite characters in comics (well, in all fiction, really) is Kitty Pryde.  Even if you don’t know me that well, if you’ve been reading this blog for long enough, her name has popped up from time to time.  What I don’t know is whether Kitty being one of my favorite characters is the cause or effect of my general love for intelligent, spunky female characters.

Anyways…knowing how much I like the character, Caroline and others suggested that I check out Marvel’s Wolverine: First Class.  So, as soon as I had a chance, I picked up The Rookie, which collects the first four issues of the series.

This is actually Marvel’s second First Class series.  While X-Men: First Class focuses on “lost stories” of Xavier and his first five students, Wolverine: First Class is set after Xavier assembled the “All New, All Different” X-Men during the Krakoa incident.  Obviously, as the name suggests, Wolverine is the star of the book.  But, his co-star is none other than Katherine “Kitty” Pryde.

After reading the first trade, I think this might be my favorite book that Marvel is currently publishing.  First of all, I really like the idea of “lost stories”–they are a great way to provide fun stories without really worrying about the current state of affairs.  Also, I kind of miss the days when the X-Men were running around being real superheroes and not freedom fighters or activists, and that’s the time period we’re in with First Class.

These types of stories also allow a fun bit of foreshadowing, if done right.  Luckily, writer Fred Van Lente (with amazing art from Andrea Di Vito), does it right.  In the second issue (“Surprise!!”), not only do we get to see Sabretooth try to kill Wolverine on his birthday, like he does every year (presumably because he really liked the movie Donovan’s Reef), but Kitty refers to herself as being “totally a ninja.”  Why is that awesome?  Well, under Wolverine’s tutelage, Ms. Pryde does, eventually, totally become a ninja.  Then there’s Kitty’s crush on Peter Rasputin, which was there from her very first appearance and played out in full tear-jerking Whedon fashion in Astonishing X-Men.  Also, as a nod to the way things were back in the day, Kitty refers to Wolverine’s claws as being “implanted” (y’see, when Wolverine first showed up, everyone assumed his claws were bionic implants–we didn’t learn they were bone until after Magneto ripped the adamantium out of Wolverine’s body in the early ’90s).

Since this series is set back when Wolverine first joined the X-Men, he’s still really rough around the edges.  Ol’ Logan became so popular over the years and popped up in pretty much every book Marvel publishes, that most folks probably forget what a cranky bastard he was in the beginning.  When Wolverine joined the X-Men, he was conceived as the fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench.   It was Wolverine’s relationship with Kitty that showed us (and him) that he was more than just a beast pretending to be a man.  And, it was something that worked so well that Marvel did it again and again, first with Jubilee and now with Armor.  But, let’s get something straight, Kitty was there first (she’s actually called Wolverine’s “intern” more than once in the first few issues).

Yeah, so I guess the short version is “I really enjoyed Wolverine: First Class and will be reading it from now on.”

Top 10 Books of 2008

As the year ends, people start rolling out their lists of the best whatevers of the year.  Why should I be any different?  So, like I did last year, I’ve compiled a list of the ten best books that I read in 2008 (even if they weren’t published in 2008).

1. The Chinatown Death Cloud Peril, by Paul Malmont

 

 

 

The reason I like reading historical fiction is the chance of seeing actual historical figures popping up in the story.  Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t.  It works in Malmont’s novel, which tells the story of some of the greatest pulp authors of the ’20s and ’30s coming together to solve a mystery worthy of the Golden Age of Pulps.

2. City of Bones, by Cassandra Clare

 

 

 

I’d never have read City of Bones if it hadn’t been recommended to me.  I’m glad it was.  Clare’s novel–about a girl who finds herself thrust into a world of magic, demons, and demon hunters–appealed to the Buffy, Harry Potter, and Harry Dresden fan in me.  City of Bones is the first book of a trilogy, and I’ll be coming back for books two and three.

3. Vagabond, by Bernard Cornwell

The sequel to Cornwell’s The Archer’s Tale (which made last year’s list), continues the story of Thomas of Hookton, archer and unwilling seeker of the Holy Grail.  Again, Cornwell doesn’t skimp on the brutalities of war (and life) during the Hundred Years’ War. 

4. The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian, by Robert E. Howard

As a child of the ’80s, Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer have a certain place in my heart.  But, as much as I love these movies, they can’t compare to the original source material.  Howard’s Conan is the shit, pure and simple.  If Lord of the Rings is a classical symphony, than Howard’s Conan stories are thrash metal–Conan punches, strangles, stabs, or slices anyone (or anything) that gets in his way.  He’s also not above thieving or dallying with the occasional maiden.

5. The Wordy Shipmates, by Sarah Vowell

There’s a reason that Vowell’s book is the only piece of non-fiction on this list.  That reason is this: Sarah Vowell is awesome.  No, I’m serious.  As a history dork how could I not love Vowell’s historical dorkiness?  Plus, she’s not afraid to make liberal references to popular culture.  It also doesn’t hurt that she was the voice of Violet in The Incredibles.  This time around, Vowell turns her particular brand of historical analysis upon the founders of the Massachusetts Bay Colony.

6. DC: The New Frontier, by Darwyn Cooke

I’m not really sure where to start with Cooke’s New Frontier.  It’s the story of DC’s Silver Age heroes, with none of the “gee-whiz” nostalgia often ascribed to the era.  No, Cooke’s story is a Cold War story, with all of the paranoia one would expect from the McCarthy Era.  Also of note is Cooke’s art, which balances detail and economy of line.

7. White Night & Small Favor, by Jim Butcher

    

Butcher’s Dresden Files series is, hands down, my favorite book series currently in print (possibly of all time, I’ll get back to you on that).  These two titles, the most current of the series, continues the tale of Harry Dresden, Chicago’s only practicing professional wizard, as he deals with the escalating war between the wizards and the vampires, demons, faeries, as well as a possible traitor within the White Council, the governing body of the wizard community.  How much do I love these books?  Well, I broke my rule about not mixing paperback and hardcover books within a series and actually bought Small Favor in hardcover.

8. The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman

Gaiman’s newest book tells the story of Nobody Owens, a boy raised by the ghosts of the eponymous graveyard.  Early reviews of the book described it as being a retelling of Kipling’s The Jungle Book.  Now, the only exposure I’ve had to Kipling’s stories is from the old Disney movie, but I think it’s a valid comparison–from Nobody’s stern guardian (clearly a revised Bagheera) to the menacing figure stalking the Owens boy (can you say “Shere Khan”?  I knew that you could).

9. The Shadow: Crime, Insured, by Walter Gibson & Doc Savage: Dust of Death, by Lester Dent

 

I’d heard about the re-issued Shadow and Doc Savage stories for a while, and I’d wanted to check them out.  Then I read Malmont’s Chinatown Death Cloud Peril, and I had to read them.  Both of these are just good, old-fashioned fun.  If you like a darker, noir-inspired crime story, check out The Shadow.  If two-fisted, globe-trotting do-goodery is more your speed, then you’ll love Doc Savage.  Hey, would I steer you wrong?

10. X-Men: Messiah CompleX, by Ed Brubaker, Mike Carey, Peter David, Craig Kyle, and Christopher Yost

I’d given up on the X-Men around the time that Grant Morrison was writing them.  I’d tried to keep up with the basic premise of what was happening, until I had enough of Marvel all together.  Then something funny happened: DC pissed me off and I gave Marvel a second chance.  I really liked what Brubaker was doing in Uncanny X-Men, so I thought I’d give Messiah CompleX a shot.  I wasn’t disappointed.  After the events of House of M, mutants are a species rapidly approaching extinction, until a mutant child is finally born.  That sets off a race to find the baby and, depending on who succeeds, either protect or destroy it.

City of Bones: The Joy of a New Discovery

I just finished reading City of Bones, the first book in Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments series.  I should start off by saying that I don’t read a lot of YA fiction (except for the new Young James Bond series and Harry Potter, of course) and I haven’t really gotten hooked on urban fantasy (except Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files series).  By now, you’ve probably guessed that City of Bones is a YA/urban fantasy novel.  What you might not have guessed is that I absolutely loved it.

There’s a good chance that I would never have picked up City of Bones if it wasn’t recommended by Jen.  It’s one of her favorite books, but that doesn’t always make a good recommendation.  I think the real reason she recommended it was that she knows how much I like the Dresden series, Harry Potter, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  She also, rather tongue-in-cheek, mentioned the fact that it’s set in New York City, with large chunks taking place in Brooklyn.  The key to a good recommendation is knowing what the other person likes, not what you think they like (that kind of thinking led someone to tell me I would “love” A Confederacy of Dunces, which holds the distinction of being the only book I’ve ever hurled across the room in disgust).  My old boss had an amazing knack for recommending books after you told him three or four of your favorite books–I don’t think a single book he told me to read was a letdown.

Now…where was I?  Oh, right:

City of Bones is the story of fifteen-year-old Clarissa “Clary” Fray.  Clary fits right in with my all-time favorite female characters–Willow, Fred, Kitty Pryde, Kaylee, and Hermione.  She’s a little socially awkward, but with enough brains and spunk to see her through.  Clary’s world is turned upside down when she learns that there is a secret, hidden world that no one can see.  No one, except her.  It’s a world of demons, vampires, werewolves, witches and warlocks.  A world patrolled by a group known as Shadowhunters.  Right there, it’s already hitting the happy part of my brain where Buffy, Harry Potter, and Harry Dresden live (not to mention Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere).

To be honest, I was expecting a pretty standard story.  That’s not what I got.  Sure, there were a few things that I called pretty early on.  But, Clare’s narrative throws so many curve-balls that everything I had figured out for myself paled in comparison.  I’m itching to get my hands on the next book in the series–City of Ashes–so I can revisit this world and see what Clare has in store for Clary and the others.

Hulk Smash?

With an opening weekend box office of about $55 million, folks are calling The Incredible Hulk a “hit” and a “success.” Maybe. But, is it any good? That’s the question people should be asking. Let’s be honest, making tons of money doesn’t mean a movie is any good–I give you Titanic and Ang Lee’s Hulk (which had a $62 million opening). All I can say is this: The Incredible Hulk is pretty much the movie I would have made.

I feel that it’s important to begin by telling you that I was not a fan of 2003’s Hulk. I like Ang Lee and all, but you really need to think before you hand a comic book movie to an “art house” director–panels, Lee? Really? Fucking panels!!–especially a comic book movie starring a character like the Hulk. There’s a lot of subtext in the character that could, if you’re not careful, lead to a lot of psychoanalytical Freudian wankery. But, the problem is, as legitimate as this analysis might be–particularly given Hulk’s Jekyll and Hyde pedigree–the Hulk is not what one might call introspective. No. Hulk…well, Hulk smash! That’s it. That’s the Hulk’s reason for being. He is an unstoppable, rage-fueled engine of destruction. Lee’s Hulk was too light on smashing and too heavy on hashing–as in “hashing it out.” Sorry, Ang, but you’re movie just spent way too long talking about shit and not nearly enough time showing it. I had no problem with the abusive father back-story or (believe it or not) the Hulk-dogs–they’re both canon, so I’m okay with them. I did, however, think the climatic “battle” between Eric Bana’s Banner and Nick Nolte’s Pa Banner was a bit…um…strange. Seriously, was Nolte supposed to be the Absorbing Man? Oh, and did I mention those damned on-screen panels? I did? Okay then.

I guess that brings me to Louis Leterrier’s The Incredible Hulk. Now this is a Hulk movie. This Hulk takes liberally from both the Marvel comic and the classic ’70s television show. Edward Norton does an admirable job as Bruce Banner (a role he almost played back in 2003), who’s on the run in South America. Norton’s Banner is a quiet intellectual with that goofy charm that Norton can do so well when he’s not playing a complete prick. Norton’s Banner doesn’t have to tell you how much he hates the thing inside of him. You can see it on his face every time his heart-rate approaches 200, or in the moment when he reaches the inevitable conclusion that sometimes the best tool for the job is a massive, green-skinned juggernaut. Norton is ably assisted by the rest of the cast–including the always eeevil Tim Roth as aging soldier Emil Blonsky, who juices up on Banner-gravy to become the Abomination, and William Hurt as perennial Hulk-hunter General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross (although I am curious to know what happened to Sam Elliott…were he and his mustache busy?). The only real weak link in the cast was Liv Tyler. Don’t get me wrong, I love Liv. I’ve always loved Liv, ever since Empire Records and those oddly sexual music videos she made for her dad’s band. Hell, I’d crawl naked over broken glass and swim through a mixture of rubbing alcohol and lemon juice just to be in the same room as Ms. Tyler…but, I had a bit of a hard time believing her portrayal of scientist Betty Ross–granted, it was nowhere near as difficult as it was believing that Denise Richards could spell “nuclear scientist” much less be one. I guess that’s why Leterrier had her put on her “smart girl” glasses whenever she had to be all science-y.

As for the Hulk himself, I think Hulk ‘08 is an improvement over Hulk ‘03. Leterrier’s redesigned Hulk looks dangerous. He’s all muscular and veiny. He looks like power incarnate:

Lee’s Hulk looks like he’s trying to sell you frozen vegetables:

I’m willing to chalk this up to technological improvements in CGI in the last five years (yes, I’ve accepted the fact that there is no way that Hollywood would make a Hulk movie without a CG Hulk). Of course, given the numerous ways that the character has been portrayed over the decades–grey, green, smart, stupid, gigantic, not-so-gigantic–both versions are, technically, valid. This new Hulk, however, is just closer to the way I prefer the character to be. I like my Hulk big and dangerous. I like him to throw shit and cause ridiculous amounts of collateral damage because he doesn’t know better. He should be a little talky, but not overly verbose or intelligent. I can’t remember if Lee’s Hulk spoke, but Leterrier’s does, and his sparse dialogue (yes, including “Hulk smash!”) is roared by Lou Ferrigno (television’s Hulk), who also has a cameo as a security guard (yes…again).

Unlike its predecessor, The Incredible Hulk takes full advantage of the forty-plus years of Hulk-story, not to mention the new toys in Marvel’s movie sandbox. Borrowing from Bruce Jones’ run on the Incredible Hulk comic, Banner is assisted in his search for a cure by the mysterious Mr. Blue, with whom he communicates via instant messenger. In the movie’s universe, the creation of the Hulk is tied to the U.S. military’s attempts to recreate the super-soldier serum that created Captain America, which is lifted from Marvel’s Ultimate Universe (where, in case you didn’t know, Nick Fury looks suspiciously like Samuel L. Jackson). In addition to General Ross and Blonsky, Banner has a run-in with Samuel Sterns (played by Tim Blake Nelson), who’s destined to become Banner’s super-intelligent nemesis The Leader. Other characters who pop-up in one form or another include sidekick Rick Jones (whose name appears on a list of Banner’s known associates) and Doc Leonard Samson (played by Ty Burrell)–although, if you hadn’t been following the pre-release media machine, you could have missed that Burrell’s character is actually Doc Samson. In a nod to the television series, the iconic “Lonely Man Theme” is used while Banner hitchhikes his way across Central and South America, and one of the Hulk’s rampages is caught on film by college journalism major Jack McGee. Sadly, the classic line–”Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”–is once again missing, in English anyway. There’s a Portuguese version, played quite effectively for laughs, where Banner confuses the Portuguese word for “angry” with the word for “hungry.” And, in addition to the veiled reference to Captain America, Stark Industries is mentioned numerous times, and Robert Downey, Jr. steals the movie with a forty-second cameo as Tony Stark.

In the final analysis, The Incredible Hulk isn’t as good as Iron Man (which has raised the bar for super-hero movies as far as I’m concerned), but it’s a pretty good sophomore attempt by Marvel’s new film division. It’s certainly earned a spot in my DVD collection, something that Ang Lee’s Hulk didn’t accomplish.