Okay, I have no idea why, but in the last few days I’ve gotten a severe case of Firefly on the brain. So, just for the heck of it, I’ve put together a list of my 10 favorite quotes from Joss Whedon’s sci-fi western. It wasn’t easy…as with Whedon’s other shows, I could probably have come up with 10 favorite quotes for each character (but hey, a guy’s gotta sleep and eat). There are two rules: (1) the quotes had to come from Firefly and not Serenity, and (2) they had to be single quotes, not dialogue (okay, I cheated on this one, but only because #3 is something of an in-joke).
10. “Take me Captain. Take me hard.” –Zoe, “War Stories”
When Mal and Wash are kidnapped and tortured, Wash insists that the only way he and Zoe can be happy as husband and wife is if Zoe sleeps with Mal.
9. “I love my captain.” –Kaylee, “Serenity” (the pilot, not the movie)
Kaylee does love her captain…and because she loves Mal, so do we.
8. “To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.” –Simon, “Jaynestown”
Simon’s one of those characters that grew on me the more I watched the show. His drunken toast to Jayne almost makes up for not making a move on Kaylee sooner (seriously, dude, what the hell?).
7. “I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.” –Mal, “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Just when you think seeing Mal and Jayne playing a married couple (with Mal as the missus, nonetheless) couldn’t be funnier, Mal swears by his “pretty floral bonnet.”
6. “Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got lose?” –Mal, “The Train Job”
Monkeys (space or otherwise) are always hy-larious!
5. “If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.” –Shepherd Book, “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
This is the line that made me a fan of Book.
4. “Also, I can kill you with my brain.” –River, “Trash”
Maybe she can, maybe she can’t…but Jayne probably won’t be taking any chances (and even if River can’t kill us with her brain, she does a damned good job with a gun, an axe, and her bare feet).
3. “Wash, tell me I’m pretty.”
“Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.”
“‘Cause I’m pretty?”
“‘Cause you’re pretty.” — Kaylee and Wash, “Heart of Gold”
The only exception to Rule #2. Why? Because it’s Wash and Kaylee. ‘Nuff said.
2. “We gotta go to the crappy town where I’M a hero!” –Wash, “Jamestown”
I have no idea why I love this quote…I just do.
1. “I’ll be in my bunk.” –Jayne, “War Stories”
This quote sums up the character of Jayne Cobb better than anything else I can think of. Plus, it’s useful in so many situations (and people who’ve never seen the show know exactly what you’re getting at).